Heremelia C. Psmirtch's Fantastic Underwater Sea Travel and Ubiquitous Adventure Company

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Heremelia C. Psmirtch's Fantastic Underwater Sea Travel and Ubiquitous Adventure Company, formerly known as Heremelia C. Psmirtch's Adequate Overground Land Travel and Unexceptional Outings Company, is the second oldest company in Einwimz. (The oldest being a venture named 'We Do Stuff', founded in 1222, which does stuff for people who need stuff done - apparently a great need.)

In its current incarnation, it was founded in 1317, by Heremelia C. Psmirtch, when her former company was dissolved at the urging of her friends, who pointed out that the name was uninspiring. The new name also reflected one of the new purposes of the venture - transportation through tunnels in the Bensaro atoll to the mythical Dorensaro mountain in the middle. Much of this transport is by camel, while some people prefer to walk, since riding camels isn't actually all that comfortable.

The earlier version of the company - Heremelia C. Psmirtch's Adequate Overground Land Travel and Unexceptional Outings Company - founded in 1294 - despite its name, was primarily a pet store. The name derived from the fact that an earlier version of the company - Heremelia's Camels - founded in 1276 - sold camels and other travel animals. Heremelia renamed the company to emphasize that riding a camel is a safe and unremarkable way to travel. "Unremarkable," she said, "in the sense that traveling by camel is adequate, unsurprising, unexciting, and safe, devoid of unexpected explosions and loud noises."

In addition to the actual travel and adventure offered by the company, HCPFUSTUAC (pronounced hupuckstock in the advertisements) also continues to run an enormous chain of pet stores to this day, specializing in grunts and camels.

Legal Problems

HCPFUSTUAC's legal problems started when they broke ground on the tunnels under Bensaro to the mythical Dorensaro mountain. The opponents rightfully asserted that digging an actual tunnel to an imaginary place was not only foolish, but also likely to cause serious existential angst, which they claimed was a "Very Very Very Bad Idea". This battle has been raging since day one, and shows no sign of abating. Those supporting the so-called Dorensaro Denial continue to insist that the tunnels are against all reason and morality. Meanwhile, the enormous crowds of people who traverse these tunnels every single day prop up the company's legal division, while the court cases themselves provide continual publicity for the company, and have also resulted in the creation of several major theme parks, including Psmirrch World (not affiliated with HCPFUSTUAC, and intentionally misspelled for legal reasons).

The HCPFUSTUAC case is tried on the first and third week of every month at the famous Regional Courthouse of Bensaro, and is expected to continue for many years to come.


References: Dorensaro Denial, Grunt, Psmirrch World, Regional Courthouse of Bensaro