From Einwimz
Jump to: navigation, search

The Grunt is a large, horned, docile animal, which live in the north and west of Einwimz in large numbers. While somewhat alarming in appearance, Grunts are perfectly harmless, and trusting to the point of endangering themselves.

Grunt - Artist's rendering

Anatomy and morphology

Fully grown grunts range from a meter at the shoulder up to three meters at the shoulder. They typically have four horns - two extending upwards, and two curling downwards around their face. Occasionally, a grunt will have six horns, and in very rare cases, 8. These horns provide protection from their preferred food, the Intreloberry, which has nasty sharp thorns.

Grunts are furry, as some of them live above the snowline.

They are quadrupeds, and have three claws on each paw, which they use to pick Intreloberry burrs out of their fur.

They have a mouth full of viciously sharp teeth, which is odd, since they never eat anything more dangerous than berries.

Religious Significance

The grunt plays a very important role in the daily ceremonies of the Abbey of Parapall. At one time, this contributed to their near extinction - a point completely ignored in the article by my learned colleague. However, at the height of the crisis, the Abbot instituted both a change to the liturgy (Grunts are merely wounded, rather than eviscerated), and an aggressive breeding program (breeding grunts, not monks).

Myths of Aggressive Behavior

For many years, the Grunt was believed to be dangerous and aggressive, due to its sharp claws and pointy teeth. Thus, when it approached travelers and attempted to snuggle, it was often brutally slain out of a misplaced fear of attack. In this way, grunts have been completely wiped out in the eastern region of Einwimz, where people are rather dim-witted and slow to learn.

Several children's books, including the very popular "Night Of the Grunt", by popular author Harriet Leah Dangerway, perpetuate this mistaken belief into the modern age, even while the grunt pet trade is booming. Attempts by this scholar to persuade her to retract her libelous book have fallen on deaf ears, and have even resulted in a nasty letter from her solicitors.

In the 1200s, during the Broompushers Rebellion, the Broompushers located their capitol city at Furyus specifically so that it could be thought of as inaccessible due to the large numbers of grunts in the area. This didn't work out very well for them.

Yet, the myths persist.

Grunts as pets

Grunts make lovely pets for small children and the elderly. They are very easily tamed, and are willing to be subjected to considerable roughhousing without attempting to defend themselves in any way, much less retaliate. Get one today at your local branch of the Heremelia C. Psmirtch's Fantastic Underwater Sea Travel and Ubiquitous Adventure Company.

References: Intreloberry, Abbey of Parapall, Harriet Leah Dangerway, Furyus, Heremelia C. Psmirtch's Fantastic Underwater Sea Travel and Ubiquitous Adventure Company