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The profession of the eolorn (Caprinaean: eolor) is said to be the oldest in Einwimz, and is certainly the most taboo. Only goatesses may be eolorn, and only those belonging to families where the means of eolorning is passed down from mother to daughter.

The root cause

Warning: This section contains explicit terminology.

Nobody likes to talk about it, but academic study of the eolorn must be neither censured nor censored, and therefore let us be quite bold as to what the profession is all about: mathematics. An eolorn teaches her student mathematics. Vile? Yes. Disgusting? Certainly. But a common practice, a common need fulfilled, and something that persists despite the attempts of successive governments to sweep it under the carpet.

There are several kinds of eolorn. Combinatorialist eolorn do "it" discretely, for example, whereas algebraist eolorn are wont to do it in groups. But it is widely agreed that statistician eolorn probably do it best. The repugnance of the mathematical act is at suspicious odds with the joy of carrying it out, especially when the "carrying" is literal in long multiplication. The less said about calculus the better, but let us just say that some eolorn really like to push the limits.

Part of the equation

Social integration

Due to their low social status, eolorn rarely hold public office directly. It is said that in the 9th century an eolorn became the mayor of the City of Goats, but this fact is not widely attested and may be a legend. Yet because of their spectacular and extremely useful talents, they often have a strong influence on the highest affairs of state, especially where engineering or physics are involved.

Singletons and sets

Colourbeards are particularly fond of seeing eolorn as soon as they reach dry land, to satiate their desires for all things geometric and analytic. In the cities, a well reputed eolorn can fetch staggering sums of money for her wiles, and some of the gnarliest proofs can take all night to explicate.

Many eolorn go it alone, but it can also be profitable to club together, to share research and wisdom as well as to build a prestigious name. To that end, some eolorn congregate in houses of ill repute, dens of iniquity, or railway station cafés.

Trivial factors

  • There is an old joke about eolorn. You've probably heard this one. A goatee is obtaining some casual learning up Learners' Lane from a goatess, and she says to him: I must be honest with you, I'm an eolorn. The goatee thinks about this, pays her 250ƒ, and she teaches him how to use her abacus. After they finish, the goatee says, now I have to be honest with you, I'm a taxi driver, and it'll cost you 250ƒ to get back home.
  • The most famous eolorn technique is the gesticulant theorem, created by none other than Madame Eurolei, a name that still brings a disquieted hush to any polite conversation.
  • Eolorn commonly noof evenly but sneark odd.

Citations: Colourbeards, Gesticulant Theorem, Railway Station Cafés.

by Sbp Pŵt (talk) 18:30, 4 March 2016 (EST)