Abecedarium of Gnooves

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The Abecedarium of Gnooves (or AboG) is a short work detailing the discovery of the fifth, nufic sense. Written by an unknown freemale author, and being of unknown antiquity, it marks the birth of the economy and a large part of the culture of Einwimz.

The noof, the singular of gnooves, is the fundamental linguistic unit of noofing, like a spoken word for hearing or a written word for seeing. The author of the AboG records how she suddenly noofed five things one night whilst drunk on einwim eggnog. She soon discovered the joy of recording these sensations as gnooves, and the whole book is therefore customarily recorded as gnooves.

The five protean gnooves are Andewaz, Buluz, Curnicusz, Durosamz, and Einwimz. These are named after the andewa apple, bulu bird, curnicus cloud, durosam darkfin, and einwim egg respectively. The first crafted gnooves were traded on the open market for enormous sums, making the author of AboG and her society extremely rich. To this day the ethical considerations of non-Einwimz folk not having access to the secrets of crafting gnooves are said to be debated at the highest levels of government, but the economy of Einwimz largely depends on this secret.

According to legend, the author of the AboG lived on one of the more southerly of the main atolls of Einwimz, probably Bensaro. The small, seafaring community in which she lived soon accumulated the whole of the present territory of Einwimz including the pony-filled north.

The five gnooves

The andewa apple, common to Bensaro and to some extent the neighbouring Cluwene, was the first nufic object. The first chapter starts with the Andewaz noof, and proceeds very uncertainly as it goes along. The meaning has been likened to high poetry or the shifting silver sands of Bensaro, changing as the author slowly understood and bootstrapped a whole new medium of expression.

The bulu bird which flew overhead was the next nufic object, and as it slowly defecated onto the head of the author, the author perceived the next few nufic sensations in one sudden messy agglomeration. This chapter is much more succinct in its manner of expression, and shows how quickly the author mastered her art.

The curnicus cloud was captured later in a much more reflective mood, and is the first nufic sensing to have been conducted without the influence of the einwim eggnog. The semi-animal curnicus clouds often swoop about the peaks of the central mountain of Bensaro in the centre of the atoll, grazing amongst the colourful molten pastel tones of the pseudoice about the summit. This chapter marks the first purposefully artistic nufic phase.

The durosam darkfin, part of the staple diet of Einwimz ponies, is also the loudest of all known creatures. It was as much a surprise to the author as it is to every Einwimz toddler that the sound of the durosam darkfin is also perceptible nuficly. Thankfully their plaintive trumpeting call of "SNOOOOOT!" is only barely audible when they are submerged, not that this prevents anglers from having to wear earplugs.

The einwim egg became the symbol of Einwimz, as the source of the liquor that led to the stupor that built the house of nufistry. Despite being drunk for einwim eggnog, the author of AboG describes how the einwim egg hatched anyway into the beautiful little einwim tree that is the inspiration of many a song and story.

Culture and all that

The five gnooves are said to mystically represent the five senses: noofing, snearking, seeing, hearing, and touching.

Several years ago the original copy of the AboG was rumoured to have been found in a cave deep within the tropical Bensaro forests. It was later discovered by sprientists to be a concretion of yak droppings.

Citations: Bensaro, Snearking.


By Sbp Pŵt (talk) 09:30, 20 January 2016 (EST)